Hello

I haven't cried yet. Not just yet. I'm scared that if I start to let just even a single tear, I might never stop crying. I've got so much more project to finish. So many deadlines to meet. But I feel so tired. I just want to go to a place away from everyone and cry my eyeballs out. It's futile to regret, I know. I just want to let out all the things I've held in. I feel like so many things led up to this and this isn't the only thing I want to cry about. For all those times I cried, not even knowing what I was crying about, when I just lived day to day like a lone nomad knocking on who's ever pants would drop down for me. For how I could've ruined someone special's life when it was just starting. For all the decisions I made mechanically. I can't blame anyone. It's my fatal flaw. It's not the end, I know. But it's definitely a big change.